self-medication

Now that I've sunk to the blackest depths of boredom, I realize that I can't help but feel pathetically depressed - and this presents a possible explanation of my habitual depression, which friends have all attributed to things as silly as the lack of a partner to a sign of personality disorder. For days now my adrenal glands are in stasis, and I've been doing nothing but respond to email messages that I really do not even have to reply to. I do just so I can do something.

I'm banking that tomorrow all this will change, but at least now I know that my perennial depression is a twin phenomena of this ennui, and it has nothing to do with another person not being with me or the wirings in my brain. I just could not feel boredom. The moment the first signs of tedium appears, depression takes over. And now that I know this, finding a cure becomes much easier, one that does not involve me forcing myself on another person or taking medication.

I just have to do something. Anything.

So now that I'm feeling its first bites, I'll list down my anti-boredom i.e. anti-depression playlist because honestly, when the only open program in your PC is a clean Outlook inbox, organizing your mp3 collection seems as critical as your next multi-million peso project.

Now make me busy playlist.

1.) Dry Your Eyes - The Streets
2.) Keep Breathing - Ingrid Michaelson
3.) Reason Why - Rachel Yamagata
4.) No More Good Guys - Skindive
5.) Pretty Pathetic - Smoking Pipes
6.) Last Request - Paolo Nutini
7.) Mr. Brightside - The Killers
8.) Get Me Away From Here I'm Dying - Belle and Sebastian

Now I've got to find what albums you came from, when you were released, your track number, sort your genre, and set your equalizer levels. I'm going to be so very busy! Yey!

So much for anti-depressants.