robed

Great.

Checking Facebook every hour or so, going out for two-hour lunch, and then leave work an hour early.

These things make for an employee of the month.

***

The thing about my job (which I can't really tell if positive or negative) is that when it rains, it pours, and when the sun shines, it's scorching hot. I'm not good at making up idioms, but I hope I got the point across.

I wish it starts raining soon. I like being wet.

of heroes and honor

I wish we don't give title so easily. Heroes fight for a cause bigger than themselves and their loved ones. They change the course of history and the forces that move it when all circumstances tell them it should go one way. With all due respect, what Aquino did was ride - and not without reluctance - on its tide, when millions of small heroes who bravely faced tanks and guns armed only with flowers and their faith, needed a clear, bright ink to write the history they were making.

Give Aquino all the honors she deserves, and give our heroes what's rightfully theirs and theirs alone.

***

Butch Dalisay was being polite when he insisted on TV that the issue is not with Carlo J. Caparas but with the National Artist selection process being compromised. As much as I'd like to think that is the case, I doubt if the protests would be this loud if he wasn't conferred as one. I also think that contrary to Dalisay's assertion, the selection process is not entirely devoid of dirty politics to begin with. Our creative community has a highly tribal nature, and awarding decisions are not immune to the asarans and inisans they get into during their inuman sessions. Cecille Alvarez has every reason to be paranoid: had she left Malacanang out, she can say goodbye to the award for good - there is talk she is not well-liked by our respected "artists", and there's no chance in Dante's hell that she would be nominated for the title without some external intervention.

But the divine comedy is in the tarpaulin-waving Caparas, who equates the title with box-office earnings and masa appeal. It doesn't matter that he had not won a single award for any of his works, nor a recognition of the literary values of the komiks na kanyang pinagpupuyatan at pinagpapaguran. His arguments remind me of Erap-talk, that philosophy where giving away grocery gift bags equate to good governance. If these will be our criteria, then by all means let's already give Lito Camo and Salbakuta the award for music.

***

They say every dark cloud has a silver lining, and this controversy brings to light an important discourse on the value and the subject of art. In a country where art lessons end with the color wheel chart, its great to see people talk about these things with equal airtime as anything Kris Aquino.

My sad prediction however, is that the awards will never recover from this controversy. Its a lose-lose situation - whether they revoke the awards (a very long shot) or not (Caparas receiving the honorifics forever).

scarred

I'm no big fan of fanfic - especially slash - but this really tickled a bit. From crazy deviant artist KaoriTheZXSFangirl:

Kakashi woke to the sound of a small bird in the trees. He was on a mission with Iruka to find a scroll lost in the forest. It was the second day on their trip and they had only just reached the forest that night.

Kakashi looked around, noting that Iruka was missing.

Well, while Iruka is gone I might as well find some fresh water… He thought. Not far from the ‘camp’, he heard the babbling of a stream, accompanied with the sound of bathing. Kakashi peeked his head around a tree, expecting to find an enemy. He was taken aback to find Iruka bathing with his back to the ninja.

An idea suddenly struck Kakashi. He founds Iruka’s cloths and hid them, along with his own cloths as well. Then, sneaking back to the deep river, he jumped in. Lucky for him it was deep enough to swim in and not be seen or his plan would be ruined.

He silently swam up to Iruka, and with a laugh, dunked the teachers head under water. Kakashi was cut off through mid laugh when something grabbed his leg and pulled him under too. The men resurfaced laughing. Then, without warning, Iruka grabbed Kakashi’s shoulder

and pulled him into a rough kiss.

Moments later, the men released each other and stood a good few feet apart.

A thud made them turn to the trees and their faces turn bright red. Naruto had been hiding in the tree, watching everything. He was now on the ground, twitching. Kakashi swore loudly and Iruka laughed.

That was just how the cookie crumbled.

Fan art from this site.

erratum

going through the motions

Every single night the same arrangement

I go out and fight the fight.

Still I always feel the strangest strangement

Nothing here is real, nothing here is right.

- Buffy Summers (words by Joss Whedon)

***

I'm such a big liar. Today a colleague asked me why I don't shave my beard (which really are just small stumps of hair on my chin) and I said it's for a rather practical albeit absurd reason - I wanted to look more mature so as to be taken seriously because, and this I told her with the conviction of an innocent man about to be hanged, no one in this business is taking me seriously.

It is partly true, because at this age (24) I am still often mistook for a college student. But the real reason is: I just forget to shave. Every morning I wake up like a zombie, and go to work without a care any more what I look like or what I do. I don't keep my planner anymore - the last entry reads March 2009. I'm in this zombie-like state for quite awhile now, and getting up just keeps getting harder and harder with each passing work day.

And like a real zombie (if there was one), I am seriously hungry for brains.

But yeah, while I'm still here, my issue is because I want to be taken seriously. Right.

***

My curse is I can lie with a straight face. And I ardently believe in its truth to sustain it, so that sometimes it turns to reality.

me

Would it be selfish if tomorrow I just think of my own happiness and just do something that I really like doing?

Would it be so selfish of me if I just dropped everything, stopped working, and follow my dreams?

the sun didn't shine last Saturday (Aug 1 post)

In life, as in movies, dark periods of grief and sorrow almost always are framed in gray, sunless skies. I woke up at 1PM today after a drunken binge last night, and it was raining - the skies fortuitously weeping without any trace of the sun hiding behind dark, heavy clouds. I went about lunch and grabbed a few stuff at the grocery like a zombie.

I wondered why the world is not bursting with yellow sunlight, and then I heard a stray noise from a neighbor's telly about the passing of a great woman. I finally understood why.

The world will turn a bright yellow tomorrow.
***
In college I was taught that Aquino's administration was not as rosy as we like to think of it to be. Even as she ushered in democracy to a then heavily-wounded society after decades of tyranny and oppression, most of the old problems remained, and some opportunities for renewal and genuine change were lost.

But I say history is woven by small stories of personal triumphs and losses. And Aquino's story is that of a woman who was not meant and fit to be president, but whose integrity, honesty, and sense of responsibility was greater than the any qualification we will ever need. And during those times, those may well be the only things that we needed from a leader. We may not have achieved far in terms of social development, but Cory shined the brightest light to show what it means to be a true social servant.